josh pincus is crying

The Illustration Friday challenge word this week is “satellite”.

“One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV’s all over the world.” — Steven Wright

Because of her straight-laced upbringing, Linda Boreman earned herself the nickname “Miss Holy Holy” at her strict Catholic high school. Later, in the “free love” times of the 1960s, Linda gave birth to a son. Her mother insisted the boy be given up for adoption to spare humiliation and preserve the family’s good name. Soon after that, Linda was involved in a car crash that almost claimed her life. It would be the cause of a lifetime of health problems.

While recuperating from the accident at her parents’ home in Florida, Linda became involved with Chuck Traynor, a controlling and manipulative sleazebag twelve years her senior. Traynor threatened and beat the impressionable Linda into having sex with strangers and performing in pornographic “loop reels” for his own financial gain and pleasure. Using a loaded M-16 rifle aimed at her head as persuasion, Traynor forced Linda to make the infamous pornographic short film Dog Fucker  in 1971. In 1972, on a budget of around $22,500, Traynor (acting as production manager) and his rifle, “insisted” that Linda, using the name “Linda Lovelace”, participate in Deep Throat. The film was shot over a period of six days in a hotel in Miami, Florida. During the filming, Linda was subjected to regular beatings at the hands of Traynor. Bruises are noticeable on Linda’s legs in various scenes of Deep Throat.

Upon its release, Deep Throat  surprisingly acquired a mainstream audience and became a huge hit among the art film world, with supporters like Jack Nicholson, Johnny Carson and Barbara Walters. Linda was paid $1200 for her work, all of which Traynor took. In 1974, Linda left Traynor and became a fervent anti-pornography advocate. She claimed that she had not consented to any sex act depicted in the film and did so under threats from Traynor.

Linda contracted hepatitis from a blood transfusion after her car accident and received a liver transplant in 1987. In April 2002, Linda was involved in another car accident in which she sustained massive head trauma. After nineteen days in a coma, Linda was taken off life support and died at age 53.

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Marilyn Ann Briggs aspired to be a model. At 16, she often forged her mother’s signature to get out of school to attend auditions. She was given several modeling jobs and even got a small role in the Barbra Streisand film, The Owl and The Pussycat, using the name Evelyn Lang. Biding her time as a Los Angeles topless dancer, Marilyn’s big break came when she landed a modeling job as a young mother fawning over her baby on the box of Procter & Gamble’s Ivory Snow detergent. Filled with confidence, she answered an ad for a casting call and but expressed disinterest when she discovered it was for a pornographic film. The film’s producers, the notorious adult film pioneers The Mitchell Brothers, noted her resemblance to popular actress Cybill Shepherd. Flattered, she told the Mitchells that she was “The Ivory Snow Girl” and they flipped, realizing the marketing potential. They told her that the film they had in mind for her would “sell a hell of a lot of soap for Procter & Gamble.” She negotiated the terms of her own contract to appear in the film — $25,000 salary, plus a percentage of the profits. When the low-budget film, 1972’s Behind the Green Door, ended up earning fifty million dollars, it proved to be a shrewd forethought for 19 year-old Marilyn. Of course, Procter & Gamble dropped her as their product representative, although the famous Ivory Snow box subtly appeared in nearly every one of Marilyn’s films.

Behind the Green Door  was a ground-breaking achievement in the world of X-rated films. It was the first feature-length pornographic film to feature an interracial couple. It caused a huge uproar, even among the adult film industry. Additionally, it made Marilyn Chambers (the former Marilyn Ann Briggs) a star, even though she spoke no lines of dialogue. She went on to star in thirty more films over the next four decades, sometimes crossing over into non-adult, mainstream movies working with directors such as horror wiz David Cronenberg. Not fully satisfied with her career in acting, the ever-ambitious Marilyn pursued a brief venture into singing, recording a disco hit in 1976, and later entered the political arena by running for vice-president in 2004 on the Personal Choice Party ticket, supporting presidential candidate Charles Jay. 

Marilyn was married three times, including eleven years to Svengali-like Chuck Traynor, who served as her manger until their divorce in 1985.

On April 12, 2009, 17 year-old McKenna came home to find her mother, Marilyn Chambers, dead. She had succumbed to a cerebral hemorrhage and aneurysm at the age of 56.

In 1958, Lana Turner was between husband number five and husband number six when she entered into a torrid and volatile relationship with Johnny Stompanato. Johnny was the bodyguard for notorious gangster Mickey Cohen. Lana didn’t care about Johnny’s connections. She was content with his dark good looks and expertise as a lover. So, he had a temper and he was possessive. Lana took the good with the bad.

Lana’s teenage daughter, Cheryl Crane, was leery of Johnny. Although she never actually saw Johnny hit her mother, Cheryl was aware of the welts and bruises Lana often displayed. Cheryl threatened to expose Johnny’s ways to her father (Lana’s second husband, international restauranteur Joseph Crane). Lana pleaded to keep the beatings a secret and Cheryl reluctantly complied.

One night in April 1958, Lana and Johnny were having a particularly heated arguement behind the closed door of Lana’s Beverly Hills bedroom. Cheryl heard the yelling through the walls of her own room. She became worried for her mother’s well-being. An anxious Cheryl hurried downstairs searching for something to use to defend herself and her mother. She grabbed the first thing she saw in the kitchen — a large knife.

Cheryl returned to the second floor and stood outside her mother’s bedroom, knife poised in her hand. Suddenly, the door flew open and Johnny, still screaming, stormed out of the room. He was still facing the interior of the room as he exited and walked right into waiting knife blade. Johnny fell to the floor dead.

Lana Turner’s testimony at the subsequent trial was believed by many to have been the greatest acting performance. Cheryl took full responsibilty for the stabbing, although she claimed self-defense. Public opinion was that Cheryl was taking the fall for her mother, knowing that, as a minor, she would serve a sentence that would be far less severe. Cheryl, found guilty of justifiable homicide, was ordered by the court to spend two years in a facility as a ward of the state. A facility from which she escaped after a year.

In her 1988 autobiography, in addition to coming out as a lesbian and revealing that, as a child, she had been repeatedly molested by Lana Turner’s fourth husband actor Lex Barker, Cheryl Crane again confirmed the true story of Johnny Stompanato’s death.

The current Illustration Friday challenge word is “paisley”.


Gerome Ragni performed in several small theatre productions until he collaborated with fellow actor James Rado on the first Broadway musical to celebrate hippie culture — Hair. Hair  was unlike anything that was previously presented on the Great White Way. Audiences were assaulted and enraptured by free-form dancing, strange and wild staging, offbeat and topical rock songs, psychedelic and paisley-patterned costumes and nudity for nudity’s sake. It opened on April 29, 1968 and ran for 1750 performances. Gerome Ragni played the lead role of counter-culture tribe leader Berger.

When I was seven years-old, I discovered the original Broadway cast recording of Hair  in a stack of records at my Aunt Claire’s house. I popped the disk onto the turntable of her hi-fi and dropped the needle. I was hooked. I played that record over and over and over again. I dragged that record out on every visit to my aunt’s house. I finally bought the record myself and repeated the ritual at my own house. I knew every word to every song. I knew the dirty song lyrics, too, even if I didn’t know their meaning. I sang along when The Fifth Dimensions’ version of “Aquarius” or The Cowsills’ take on “Hair” came on the radio, and I pointed out when they altered the lyrics slightly from the original. In 1969, the touring company of Hair  came to the Schubert Theater (now the Merriam) in Philadelphia. My mom allowed me to skip third grade for a day and took me to a matinee performance. As we walked up Broad Street toward the theater, we noticed a commotion outside. A dozen or so people — men and women — were marching in a circle on the sidewalk in front of the theater’s entrance. They held signs and chanted, trying to discourage people from seeing the show. With tickets firmly in one hand and my  little hand firmly in the other, my mom cut through the line of protesters. One stern-looking woman yelled at my mother, “How dare  you take that young child in to see this smut!”  My mother shot back, “Have you seen it?” “Oh my goodness! NO!”, the woman protester replied, outraged at my mother’s insinuation. “Well, after I see it, I’ll let you know how it is.”, my mother called back over her shoulder, as she and I walked through the theater doors. I stuck my tongue out at the lady as the door shut behind me.

The Broadway production of Hair  was a traumatic experience for Gerome Ragni. The show’s immediate popularity made him very wealthy very quickly and he had a difficult time dealing with the instant fame. His marriage broke up and he disappeared from mainstream society. He joined a religious cult and contributed money to the Black Panther Party and Yippie causes. His belabored follow-up to Hair, a show called Dude, opened on Broadway in 1972 and closed after sixteen performances. Gerome was working on a new musical when he passed away in 1991 at the age of 55.

Eighteen-year old Meredith Hunter, known to his friends as “Murdock”, picked up his girlfriend Patty Bredahoff early on December 6, 1969. Meredith, a flashy dresser with a large Afro, was decked out in a lime green suit and matching derby hat. His destination was an all-day concert at Altamont Speedway featuring some of the top performers of the day — Santana, Jefferson Airplane, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young — and culminating with the legendary Rolling Stones. The concert was his destination, but his destiny was very different.

The Stones had hired infamous Southern California motorcycle club Hell’s Angels for security at the concert. As part of their payment, the Angels were provided with $500 worth of beer. The burly Angels created a human barrier between the performers on the unusually low stage and the increasingly unruly crowd. As the day progressed and as the audience and security crew became more intoxicated, the situation grew violent — so violent in fact, that The Grateful Dead refused to take the stage moments before their scheduled performance time.

The Angels were drunk. The crowd was stoned on amphetamines and LSD. Sporadic fights erupted throughout the confluence . Projectiles flew towards the stage. The Hell’s Angels retaliated by swinging pool cues and motorcycle chains and hurling full cans of beer at the crowd. In the early evening, The Rolling Stones took the stage, led by a visibly shaken Mick Jagger. Jagger pleaded with the crowd to “Just be cool down in the front there, don’t push around.” The Stones began their set. During their third song — “Under My Thumb” — Meredith Hunter made the decision to climb on stage. He met the full resistance of Hell’s Angels. One of the Angels punched Meredith in the head. He fell and disappeared in to the swelling crowd. Seconds later, Meredith resurfaced with a murderous and vengeful look in his eye. And, this time he was pointing the long barrel of a silver handgun at the stage. As Meredith pulled the trigger, Hells Angel Alan Passaro knocked the gun from his hand. Then, Passaro thrust a knife into Meredith’s back. Passaro stabbed Meredith several more times as other Angels stomped and kicked the eighteen-year old while he lay on the ground.

Passaro was arrested and charged with Meredith’s murder, but was acquitted on the grounds of self-defense after the jury viewed the footage from the concert showing Meredith drawing the revolver and pointing it toward the stage. An autopsy revealed that Meredith had been heavily intoxicated on methamphetamine.

Shortly after the incident, Meredith’s mother requested that Altamont Speedway be turned into a public park to “prevent any more wrongful deaths”. Alameda County officials allowed the Altamont to still host races, but barred any future concerts. She also sued the Rolling Stones for wrongful death and made an out-of-court settlement for $10,000.

In 1985, Alan Passaro was found dead, floating in Santa Clara County’s Anderson Reservoir with $10,000 in his pocket. No one was ever charged with his murder.

This week’s Illustration Friday challenge word is “ripple” and it came with a brief request. I will paraphrase from the weekly notification email: “The subject should pertain somehow to the Gulf - the oil spill - the oceans and the creatures that live in it and around it.”

“Where did you get this bottle of Ripple, ya big dummy? Down at the BP station?”

With their time winding down on the popular sitcom Leave It to Beaver, Bob Mosher and Joe Connelly began working up ideas for a new show. It would be a parody of the typical depiction of the American family à la Donna Reed. Only this family would be a family of monsters.

Mosher and Connelly knew casting would be crucial for the show’s success. They offered the role of mad scientist vampire Grandpa to veteran actor and vaudeville comic Bert Lahr, best known as the Cowardly Lion in the 1939 classic The Wizard of Oz.  The role of family patriarch Herman Munster was pitched to horror film actor John Carradine. Both actors turned the respective roles down, although Carradine popped up later in the series as Herman’s funeral home boss, Mr. Gateman. Connelly offered the part of Grandpa to Al Lewis. Lewis was a former burlesque comic who laid claim to an illustrious collection of past employment including circus clown, Ebbets Field hot dog vendor and professional basketball scout. The part of Herman was given to actor and one-time editor of Harvard Lampoon Fred Gwynne. Lewis and Gwynne had previously worked together in producer Nat Hiken’s sitcom Car 54, Where Are You?  With two proven comedic talents onboard, Mosher and Connelly were faced with casting the right actress to play the pivotal role of Lily, Herman’s monstrous, yet level-headed, wife. They nabbed glamorous Hollywood starlet Yvonne DeCarlo. Gwynne and Lewis were furious and the complaining began.

Yvonne, who felt she was above playing in a sitcom (even though she agreed to the role) behaved “holier-than-thou”. “She stayed in her dressing room while we were outside, just waiting for her.”, Gwynne remembered. Yvonne regularly held up production with her constant adjustments to make-up, hair, and nails. She dictated which scenes would be shot, all from the vantage of her convenience. Gwynne and Lewis became enraged as production halted and the crew waited. Finally Al Lewis had taken enough and pulled aside the beauty queen and confronted her about her demanding attitude.” Abe Haberman, Yvonne’s personal make-up man, said, “Yvonne was a little difficult for other people. She fired five hairdressers. She hated the green make-up, insisting she should look more beautiful, but the network refused.” The two younger members of the cast — Pat Priest who played Marilyn Munster and Butch Patrick who played little Eddie Munster — did their best to avoid the on-set fireworks.

The Munsters  was incredibly popular, yet it was canceled after only two seasons. Nobody understood the reason for its termination, but producer Joe Connelly explained the reason for the show’s end. “The actors were a pain in the ass. Fred and Al objected to everything. Fred hated the make-up and caused a lot of trouble about it on the set. We could not stand Fred Gwynne, Al Lewis and Yvonne DeCarlo.” Connelly dealt with what he felt was incessant and obnoxious complaining. “We had to put up with a lot of shit from them. The sponsor had enough and Bob Mosher and I had just had enough, too.”

This week’s challenge word on Illustration Friday is “trail”.

Ghost hunters, ghost seekers, paranormal investigators, ghost busters, ghost chasers. Whatever they wish to be called, they are always on the trail of a ghost.

They come armed with an arsenal of sophisticated hi-tech equipment like true infrared digital cameras, non-contact infrared thermometers, microlight red light flashlights and electrosensor electromagnetic field detector meters. Some like to go the spiritual route by carrying crystals and various other talismans. Still others follow the religious path wielding crosses, holy images and scripture. With their night vision goggles and ultra-sensitive recording and imaging devices, they seek a portal to the supernatural world to retrieve concrete evidence of ghosts. They face one huge obstacle, though.

There ain’t no fucking ghosts!