josh pincus is crying

1930s radio comedian Harry Einstein changed his name to Harry Parke. But, he was most famous as “Parkyakarkus”,  a name taken from a line in his act. When he asked you to sit down, he’d say “park yer carcass!” He became known by his character name rather than his stage name. He was a featured performer on Al Jolson’s, and later, Eddie Cantor’s radio show. His shtick was as an English language-mangling Greek restaurateur.
Parkyakarkus was also the father of actor Bob Einstein, Marty Funkhauser on Curb Your Enthusiasm and most famous as dim-witted stuntman, Super Dave Osborne. Bob’s brother is Albert Brooks, the comedic director of Defending Your Life and Modern Romance. (That’s right, Albert Brooks’ real name is Albert Einstein.)
Paryakarkus appeared in eleven movies through the 30s and 40s. He moved on to gag writing when health issues prevented him from the activity that motion pictures required.
On November 24, 1958, Paryakarkus appeared at a Friars Club roast for Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. He got bigger laughs than most of the famous speakers. He delivered the traditional jabs and friendly insults associated with a celebrity roast. He finished his bit and received lavish applause as he returned to his seat on the dais next to Milton Berle. The audience and guests were still applauding when Parkyakarkus slumped over against Berle. Parkyakarkus had suffered a fatal heart attack. Berle shouted, “Is there a doctor in the house?” This remark was met with laughter, as the crowd was unaware that Berle was being serious. Berle then directed singer Tony Martin to sing a song to divert the crowd’s attention; Martin’s unfortunate choice was “There’s No Tomorrow.” But Parkyakarkus went out hearing the pure joy of an audience’s response.
In a 1991 interview, Albert Brooks said of his father, “The interesting thing to me was that he finished. He could have died in the middle. He could have done it on the way over there. But he didn’t. He finished. And he was as good as he’d ever been in his life.”

Parkyakarkus was honored on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame.

The challenge word this week on illustrationfriday.com is “clandestine”.

Meeting on deserted streetcorners, their clandestine relationship was doomed from the start.

The illustrationfriday.com word this week is “voices”.

You may not know Paul Frees, but you know his voice.
Paul had one of the most sought after and recognizable voice in movie and television history. At one time, he was employed by nine different animation studios. He started as a voice actor in the 1940s in radio. His career led him to movies, providing additional, off-screen voices and documentary narration. Paul got plenty of work for his Orson Welles-like vocalizations. He provided introductions to many science-fiction movies when the actual Welles would have been too costly. He was featured prominently in many attractions in Disneyland, specifically as the “Ghost Host” in the Haunted Mansion, the narrator of “Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln” and “The Pirate Auctioneer” in The Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s also Paul repeating the key phrase “Dead Men Tell No Tales” throughout the ride.
Paul’s knack for character was put to use in commercials, as the voices of The Pillsbury Doughboy, Froot Loops’ Toucan Sam and The Little Green Sprout, among many others.
He even provided the speaking voice for K.A.R.R in a memorable episode of “Knight Rider”.
On record, Paul’s impression of Peter Lorre was featured on Spike Jones’ “My Old Flame”. Paul gave the introduction on the popular comedy album Stan Freberg Presents The United States of America Vol. 1
Paul’s cartoon work is unforgettable, having voiced such beloved characters as Barney Google, Ludwig Von Drake, Fluid Man from The Impossibles, Morocco Mole, Boris Badenov, Inspector Fenwick on Dudley Doright, Fred the Lion from Super Chicken, Squiddley Diddly, The Thing from 1967’s Fantastic Four cartoon, and John Lennon and George Harrison on The Beatles cartoon. Paul also gave speech to characters in the Rankin/Bass stop-motion Christmas specials over the years. He is most famous as Burgermeister Meisterburger in 1970’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”.
Some of his lesser-known works include “Paul Frees and the Poster People”, an album featuring Paul singing current pop songs in the voices of actors like Boris Karloff and Clark Gable.  He directed one film, 1960’s The Beatnik, a Reefer Madness-like warning about beatnik culture.
Paul died suddenly from heart failure in November 1986. His voice lives on.

Here’s is a sampling of Paul’s voice work. I’m sure you’ll recognize one or two.

HEY BOYS AND GIRLS! A Non-Traditional Christmas 2008, my annual mix of eclectic holiday music, is available as a FREE DOWNLOAD for a limited time! CLICK HERE to get all 26 songs and a custom CD cover.

This week’s inspiration word on Inspire Me Thursday is “mistletoe”.
You know the song — “Ho ho the mistletoe/Hung where you can see/Somebody waits for you/Kiss her once for me”. Aside from a creepy vision of Burl Ives asking you to plant a wet one on your wife on his behalf, these lyrics bring to mind the question “why do people kiss under the mistletoe?”

The tradition originates in ancient Norse mythology. Balder, the Norse god of light and beauty, had a dream that foretold his own death. His mother, Frigga, the goddess of love, was frantic about his dream and said that if he died, everything on Earth would die. To ensure her son’s safety, Frigga went to all of the elements — air, fire, water and earth, as well as to all of the animals and plants — and asked them not to kill Balder. Loki, an evil and mischievous god referred to as the “contriver of all fraud”, found a loophole in Frigga’s request for her son’s safety — mistletoe. Mistletoe is a parasitic plant and grows on the tree it attaches itself to, and therefore has no roots of its own and could not be affected by Frigga’s request. Loki made a poisoned spear with mistletoe. What’s worse, Loki tricked Balder’s blind brother, Hoder the winter god, into tossing the spear at Balder. Balder’s heart was pierced by the spear and he died.
For three days, all the elements tried their hardest to bring Balder back to life, but failed. Finally, the tears that Frigga cried for her dead son changed the red mistletoe berries to white, bringing Balder back from the dead. To show her gratitude, Frigga reversed mistletoe’s bad reputation, making it a symbol of love and promising to kiss anyone who passes under it.

Incidentally, the word “mistletoe” comes from the German Mist, meaning dung and Tang meaning branch. So mistletoe means “shit tree”, for its parasitic characteristics. Mistletoe also causes acute gastrointestinal problems, including stomach pain and diarrhea, if eaten.

Happy holidays!

The illustrationfriday.com challenge word this week is “rambunctious”.

Carl Switzer, and his older brother Harold, were discovered by producer Hal Roach while they were on a studio tour with their parents. The Switzer brothers were singing in the studio commissary and Roach was impressed by the performance. He signed the Switzer kids to appear in the “Our Gang” film series. Harold was nicknamed “Slim”. Carl was dubbed “Alfalfa.”
The Switzer brothers first appeared in the 1935 Our Gang short, “Beginner’s Luck”. By the end of the year, Alfalfa was one of the main characters in the series, while Harold had been relegated to the role of a background player.
Alfalfa had a mischievous and sometimes cruel sense of humor. To keep himself entertained during long stretches of filming, he took to playing tricks on his fellow cast and crew members. He once put fish hooks in the pants of Our Gang co-star George “Spanky” McFarland. Spanky suffered severe cuts that had to be closed with stitches. Another time, Alfalfa tricked co-star Darla Hood into putting her hand in his pocket, telling her he had a ring for her, but in reality it was an open switchblade knife. Hood almost lost her fingers from that incident.
Though he and Spanky got along, Alfalfa’s best friend among the Our Gang kids was Tommy Bond, who played his on-screen nemesis “Butch”. Bond and Alfalfa became good friends because they played opposite characters and there was no fear that one could ever replace the other.
After Hal Roach sold Our Gang to MGM Studios in 1938, the now-adolescent Alfalfa’s behavior was even more extreme. He often sabotaged the production of the Our Gang films. Once, during a break in filming, Alfalfa urinated on the set’s lights. When filming resumed, the lights heated up and filled the set with such a stench that filming had to be halted for the rest of the day. On another occasion, intending to get back at a rude cameraman, Alfalfa convinced the other kids to chew as much gum as they could, and then stuffed the wads of spent chewing gum inside the camera.
At twelve years-old, Alfalfa’s tenure with Our Gang had ended. He went on to appear in bit parts in Going My Way, Courage of Lassie, and It’s a Wonderful Life (he was the little bastard who opened the gymnasium floor during the dance).
After his demand waned and the acting roles dried up, Alfalfa worked as a bartender while running a successful business breeding hunting dogs and offering guided hunting expeditions. Notable clients included Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, and Jimmy Stewart.
As part of one of those hunting expeditions, Alfalfa had borrowed a dog from a friend, Moses Stiltz. The dog was lost, but eventually found. Alfalfa rewarded the man who returned the dog $35 and bought him $15 worth of drinks from the bar at which he was working. Alfalfa felt that Stiltz should reimburse him for the reward money — after all, it was Stiltz’s dog. On January 21, 1959, an intoxicated Alfalfa, along with his friend, Jack Piott, arrived at the home of Moses Stiltz to collect the money he felt he was “owed”. Alfalfa banged on Stiltz’s front door, demanding, “Let me in, or I’ll kick in the door.” Once inside, Alfalfa and Stiltz got into an argument. Alfalfa insisted to Stiltz, “I want that 50 bucks you owe me now, and I mean now.” When Stiltz refused to hand over the money, the two came to blows. Piott  struck Stiltz in the head with a glass-domed clock, drawing blood from his left eye. Stiltz retreated to his bedroom and returned wielding a loaded .38-caliber revolver. Alfalfa struggled to get the gun away from him, resulting in a shot that hit the ceiling. Alfalfa forced Stiltz into a closet, despite Stiltz having regained possession of the gun. Filled with drunken rage, Alfalfa pulled a switchblade knife and screamed, “I’m going to kill you.” He opened the closet door and lunged at Stiltz. Stiltz raised the gun and shot Alfalfa.
Alfalfa was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead on arrival from massive internal bleeding. He was 31 years old.
Now, that’s rambunctious.

One of the dogs that played Petey was poisoned during the time that Our Gang was in production. It was not pinned on Alfalfa.

HEY BOYS AND GIRLS! A Non-Traditional Christmas 2008, my annual mix of eclectic holiday music, is available as a FREE DOWNLOAD for a limited time! CLICK HERE to get all 26 songs and a custom CD cover.

The word of inspiration at Inspire Me Thursday.com is “dress”.

“Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of sins.”
— Mae West

Mary Kay Bergman’s idols were Carol Burnett, Gilda Radner, Tracey Ullman and Lucille Ball. She wanted to be like those funny women.
Mary Kay became a voice actress. At different times, she provided the voice for Daphne on “Scooby-Doo”, Timmy on “The Fairly Odd-Parents“, Ariel’s sister in “The Little Mermaid” cartoon series and the modern Snow White. She was also the yodeling voice of Jessie in “Two Story 2″ and the voice of “Jay Jay the Jet Plane”. She sang on Weird Al’s “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi”. But, she is most famous for voicing most of the female characters on “South Park”. However, due to her association with more child-friendly shows, she was credited as “Shannon Cassidy”. In addition, her voice was featured in over 400 commercials.
On November 11, 1999, Mary Kay’s husband and fellow voice actor Dino Andrade, along with a friend, arrived at their West Hollywood apartment. They found Mary Kay with a 12-gauge shotgun pointed at her forehead, just above her nose. She had shot herself. A suicide note revealed a secret lifetime battle with depression.

Chung Ling Soo was the stage name of American magician William Robinson. He changed his name to Chung Ling Soo to add an air of foreign mysticism to his act. The name was a variation of a real Chinese magician’s name - Ching Ling Foo - and he performed many of the tricks that Foo had made famous.
Chung Ling Soo maintained his role as a Chinese man scrupulously, keeping in character even off-stage. He never spoke onstage and always used an interpreter when he spoke to journalists. Only his friends and a few other magicians knew the truth. (A similar character was briefly featured in the 2006 film “The Prestige”.)
Soo’s most famous trick was known as “Condemned to Death by the Boxers” (as in The Boxer Rebellion ). In this trick Soo’s assistants — sometimes dressed as Boxers — took two guns to the stage. Several members of the audience were called on the stage to mark a bullet that was loaded into one of the guns. When the gun was fired at Soo, he seemed to catch the bullets from the air and drop them on a plate he held before him. In some variations he pretended to be hit and spit the bullet onto the plate. Actually, Soo palmed the bullets, hiding them in his hand during their examination and marking. The muzzle-loaded guns were rigged such that the gunpowder charge fired in the chamber and the bullet would drop into a chamber below the barrel. The bullet in fact never left the gun.
Soo was performing in London, on March 23, 1918. Soo had not cleaned the gun properly. Over time, the gap that allowed the bullet to drop out of the barrel into the chamber slowly built up a residue from the build-up of gunpowder. The bullet remained in the barrel and the gun was fired in the normal way. The bullet hit Soo in the chest. “Oh my God.”, he said, “Something’s happened. Lower the curtain.” It was the first (and last) time in 19 years that William “Chung Ling Soo” Robinson had spoken English in public.

Kirsty MacColl couldn’t get a break. She wrote great, heartfelt songs that were humorous, biting, and, at times, achingly sad. She had a lovely voice tinged with a slightly smoky British accent. But, major success somehow eluded her.

After a brief stint as a singer in a punk band, Stiff Records signed Kirsty to a contract. Her debut solo single “They Don’t Know”, released in 1979, was a huge hit in the United Kingdom, peaking at #3 in terms of airplay. However, a distributors’ strike prevented the record getting to stores. The song consequently failed to appear on the official UK singles charts, which were based strictly on record sales. Kirsty felt her follow-up single was not getting her record label’s full support. She left Stiff Records and the single was pulled from the release schedule.
Kirsty signed to Polydor Records shortly after leaving Stiff. She had a UK hit with “There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis”. In 1983, Polydor dropped her just as she had completed recording the songs for a planned second album. She returned to Stiff. She recorded a cover of Billy Bragg’s “A New England” in 1985 got to Number 7 in the UK charts. Meanwhile, comedian Tracey Ullman’s cover of “They Don’t Know” reached #2 in the US. Kirsty provided backing vocals on this version.
When Stiff went bankrupt in 1986, MacColl was left with a recording contract. However, she was in demand as a backing vocalist, and she frequently sang on records produced by her husband, Steve Lillywhite, including tracks for The Smiths, Talking Heads, Big Country, Anni-Frid Lyngstad (Frida from ABBA), and The Wonder Stuff, among others.
In 1987, The Pogues recorded the alt-rock Christmas classic “Fairytale of New York”, originally conceived as a duet for Shane McGowan and bassist Cait O’Riordan. O’Riordan left the band before the song was completed. Producer Lillywhite asked his wife, Kirsty, to provide a guide vocal of the female part for a demo version of the song. The Pogues, however, liked MacColl’s contribution so much that they asked her to sing the part on the actual recording.
Kirsty was soon signed (and eventually dropped) by Virgin Records when Virgin was bought by EMI Records.
She divorced Lilywhite in 1994. ZTT Records released a ‘best of” collection of Kirsty’s songs, including a cover of Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” as a duet with Lemonheads’ Evan Dando. Songwriter Kirsty was frustrated with the music business, with that fact that she was most famous for versions of other people’s songs, with repeatedly being dropped from labels and a lengthy case of writer’s block. She was ready to give up her music career and become an English teacher in South America.
Several trips to Cuba and Brazil restored MacColl’s creativity. She released the Cuban and Latin-inspired “Tropical Brainstorm” in 2000 to critical acclaim. Kirsty learned how to speak Spanish with Cuban inflection (despite her British accent) for the album. “Tropical Brainstorm” yielded the hit “In These Shoes”. Kirsty was enjoying her first international success. A success she most definitely deserved.
Kirsty was devoted to her two sons — Louis and Jamie — and would spend long periods of time away from the spotlight to focus on raising them. After the successful release of “Tropical Brainstorm”, Kirsty took a much-need vacation to Cozumel with her partner, musician James Knight and her two sons. She intended to introduce her sons to scuba diving, an activity she loved. On December 18, 2000, she and her sons went diving in an area that was restricted to all watercraft. As the group was surfacing from a dive, a speeding powerboat, ignoring posted signs, entered the restricted area. Kirsty saw the boat right headed at them. Her son Jamie was in the boat’s path. Kirsty pushed him out of the way, but in doing so, she was hit head on and killed instantly.

Amy Winehouse does everything in her power to end her life and, still, she lives. Kirsty MacColl loved life, her family and her music and life just dealt her a shitty hand. Where’s the justice?

The illustrationfriday.com challenge word this week is “similar”.

I grew up in the greater northeast end of Philadelphia, PA. If you traveled a few short miles north, you’d be out of the city limits. That doesn’t mean that I was anywhere near the Liberty Bell or streets that Ben Franklin once strolled down. No, I lived in an area that was about as suburban as you could get without being in the actual “suburbs”. My parents moved into this sheltered area about a year or so before I was born, so this was the only house I lived in until I lived in my own house with my wife.
I lived in a neighborhood in which we were one of maybe four Jewish families. Not that we were ultra-religious, but I experienced my share of anti-Semitism growing up. There were semi-regular taunts from neighbor kids who were most likely parroting their parents’ unfounded bigotry. Most of my friends lived on the other side of Roosevelt Boulevard in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood. Not that they were any more religious than me, but there was an obvious difference between their neighbors and mine. Our house stood out like a Hebrew sore thumb around Christmas. Most houses were wrapped from lawn to roof in colored lights and blow-mold Santas. Our darkened house displayed a sad little electric menorah in the window, patiently waiting for my brother or me to screw in another orange light bulb as the evenings of Chanukah progressed. While our gentile neighbors searched for dyed eggs at Easter, my family went about our business as usual, except my mom made chicken soup and there was a single box of matzo in the kitchen next to the bread.
When I got married, I was introduced to two worlds which I otherwise would have been unfamiliar.

Orthodox Jews and The Amish.
My wife comes from an observant and very traditional Jewish family. Her family keeps kosher. They have an elaborate and lengthy annual seder, the traditional Passover meal. For years, my father-in-law made his own gefilte fish. At Chanukah, my mother-in-law shreds piles of onions and potatoes to make “from-scratch” latkes. Every year at Purim, my in-law’s dining room table is an endless blanket of homemade hamataschen.
When I was the newest member of this family, I was taken on trips to the lower east side of Manhattan and Borough Park, a section of Brooklyn with a ubiquitous Orthodox Jewish population. I was witness to a surreal world of huddled black-clothed families, rushing to their destinations, most with six or seven children in tow. These people looked like aliens to me. The men wore heavy black coats and large black hats. The majority had long, unkempt beards and heavy curled locks of hair hanging in front of their ears. The women all wore long-sleeved ankle-length dresses. The male children looked and dressed like the men. The female children, like the women. The stores bore signs in both English and Hebrew — some in Hebrew only.
My in-laws also owned and operated a general merchandise business in Zern’s, a rural Pennsylvania farmers market. Zern’s is a typical farmers market, if there is such a thing as a typical farmers market. In a shopping adventure to Zern’s, one could purchase fresh vegetables, funnel cake , fasnachts and several different cuts of unusual meat or meat by-products. You may also haggle with some of the merchants over their unique handmade goods. It was here at Zern’s that I had my second bizarre encounter since emerging from the protective cocoon of northeast Philadelphia. It was here I saw Amish people for the first time. I saw huddled black-clothed families, rushing to their destinations, most with six or seven children in tow. These people looked like aliens to me. The men wore heavy black coats and large black hats. The majority had long, unkempt beards. The women all wore long-sleeved ankle-length dresses. The male children looked and dressed like the men. The female children, like the women.
Hey wait a second! This sounds familiar!
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar Orthodox Jews and the Amish were. Even Peter Weir pointed it out in his 1985 film “Witness”.
They both are followers of a very conservative, very observant religious sect. Both groups are black clothing and facial hair obsessed. They both have rules about the use of electricity. They both are wary of outsiders infiltrating their territory and they think that if you are not one of them, you’re undesirable. Except for the mustache thing and the consuming of pork (and that bit about Jesus), they seem pretty similar.