IF: tail
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” — Mark Twain
Archive of posts filed under the IF category.
IF: energy
“Listen, you pointy-eared bastard — the blasted dilithium crystals can’t regenerate! Now, hand me that bottle of Johnnie Walker Black… I need some energy!”
IF: secret
Stephani Germanotta has a secret. In 2007, young Stephani, a budding singer, was introduced to another singer named Lina Morgana by Sony Records producer Rob Fusari. Stephani and Lina began collaborating on songs, eventually penning nearly two dozen compositions. Lina, with her dark hair and exotic good looks, was the obvious choice for performing them. …
IF: creature
Universal Pictures classic Frankenstein frightened audiences when it was released in 1931. One scene in particular horrified viewers so much that it was removed from early versions of the film and not restored until home video releases in 1980, nearly fifty years later. The infamous scene featured Dr. Frankenstein’s hulking, fearsome creature stumbling through the …
IF: entangled
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave When first we practise to deceive!” — Marmion by Sir Walter Scott My dad was a liar. And not a very good one. In the long ago days before the internet, when facts were a little tougher to confirm, my dad made up shit left and right. He …
IF: moustache
Clarence didn’t realize what an effort it would be to join the Moustache Club.
IF underwater (part 2)
In the immortal words of Billy Crystal: “Don’t be gon’ fer no dip now, girl!”
IF: underwater
You want thingamabobs? I got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more.
IF: onomatopoeia
Roy Lichtenstein. Hustler. Conman. Huckster. Salesman. Marketer. Artist. Bratatat!
IF: together
One, two, three, four Can I have a little more? five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I love you.